ADHD Tips

How kids interact with other kids around them is one indicator of how well they will develop in life. Some will do well, and others will continue to struggle throughout adulthood. But if they have ADD, they will probably have trouble making friends or be outright rejected by their classmates when they’re very young. If you don’t recognize the signs, these ADD kids will often have the most trouble as they grow into adulthood.

Trouble with peers often shows itself early because some kids with ADD lack control in the classroom. This irritates the kids around them, just as much as it annoys the teacher. The ADD kid often requires more of the teacher’s attention, making the other kids feel slighted, and they see this child as the “bad” kid in the classroom. This is especially true in the early grades when kids are forming relationships and becoming part of a group. The child with attention deficit is left out because they aren’t like the other kids in the group.

Social skills training can be very helpful if provided when these problems appear. If your child is ADD, you may find that he or she will do much better with a little guidance. Social skills training teaches them specific ways to make and keep friends, and the counseling includes help with conversational skills, ways to manage conflict, becoming part of a group, and managing anger.

Yet, not all kids with attention deficit are so easily recognized. Without the hyperactivity component, the child may not be seen as having ADD until he or she is older. This can happen as late as middle school. They aren’t usually behavior problems and can usually get by in elementary school when the academics are less demanding. People with attention deficit tend to be highly intelligent, and can make it through the early grades with minimal trouble. But as they move into higher elementary grades and middle school, they get more homework, have multiple teachers, and that’s when the struggle begins.

Because their performance level has changed, these kids are often labeled “lazy.” This can make them lose their motivation and the whole thing spills even further into their social lives. Their self-esteem drops rapidly and nobody understands what’s wrong. They tend to feel very alone and very much like losers.

But they aren’t losers! They have ADD, and parents need to be aware of what’s going on in their children’s lives. Parents can’t smooth out every bump in the road, but if you see your child struggling to make friends and having trouble in the classroom early on, attention deficit could be the issue. Get a proper diagnosis and some social skills training to help them. If they’re older and you realize that their schoolwork is suffering, they may have been having attention deficit issues all along. Get them help for their ADD and the help they need to make it through school. Remember, they’re probably very smart and can do the work. You just have to get them the help they need to pay attention.

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When you have ADD, one thing you’re probably not great at is keeping your living space together. You might have piles of stuff everywhere, including laundry, which is all over the floor of the bedroom. We know what we need to do, but just can bring ourselves to do stuff that’s boring. Looking around at the mess can get a little depressing.

Just remember that you’re not the only one with these issues. All ADD people have the same stuff to deal with. We just hate being bored, and cleaning and straightening bore us to death. That’s just how it is. There are so many more interesting and fun things to do in life that we just don’t worry about that kind of thing, but we really do want more ordered life. How can we get it?

ADD-friendly systems can help you. Try doing one load of laundry a day, for example. It’s much easier to put one dryer load of clothes away than 7 at one time.

You can clean the same way. Do one chore each day, like sweep one day, dust the next. And leave the huge jobs, like window cleaning for somebody else. Pay them. It’s pretty inexpensive, and it’s better than never having it done at all.

But if this system doesn’t fit with your ADD, try thinking of big jobs in chunks. Like, clean off the kitchen counter. Then, go to the refrigerator and throw old food that you don’t recognize away. Then, empty the trash. Then, worry about the kitchen table. Do things one area at a time.

Maybe the best way for you will be doing the boring stuff 10 minutes at a time. Do some straightening or cleaning for 10 minutes and then, do something you like to do for 50 minutes. Then, start over again. You’ll be amazed at what you can get accomplished with this routine.

Everyone with ADD has real approach-avoidance issues over doing boring things. We want a neat, organized place to live, but just can’t bring ourselves to do what we need to do to have things that way. Try one of these systems, one you think will fit in with your personal brand of ADD. If it doesn’t work well, try another. Nothing says that you can’t have things the way you want them to be. You just have to find a system that suits you.

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When you have attention deficit disorder (ADD), you may not be a great money manager, but even worse, you may have issues with your ADD impulsivity and spending. When that happens, it doesn’t matter if you have 300 video games, you probably want another one the minute it appeals to you. That’s your ADD talking.

This can stop, and it should. You’re probably letting your ADD impulsivity drag you in directions that aren’t good for you. High credit card balances, not enough money to make the monthly payments, and your credit rating goes downhill in a hurry. Just one late payment to a credit card company can lower your credit score by 20 points. If you miss a car payment, you can lose 100 points, so keep this in mind.

Start by cutting up your credit cards. Get some scissors and just start hacking away at them until they’re in tiny pieces. They were never intended for small purchases, though you’ve been known to use them for buying a pack of gum. You don’t need them! And write to or call your creditors and close your accounts. That way, you won’t be tempted next time a new card arrives in the mail.

But be sure to keep one credit card for emergencies. Like, if you need a root canal and you have no dental insurance, you may need to use a credit card to get the job done without paying some very high interest. But keep your emergency card in a safe deposit box at the bank, where you can’t get to it so easily. It’s much harder driving to the bank and getting someone to open the vault than it is to grab it out of your wallet.

Forget carrying big wads of cash around, too. That’s just an invitation for your impulsivity to make you buy something you don’t really need. If you’re a debit card user, that’s great, as long as it doesn’t give you access to all the money you have in the bank. Have a separate account just for spending and maintain a low balance. When the money runs out, your purchasing power is nil. Don’t be tempted by transfers in online banking, either. The system won’t work.

Yet, if these suggestions don’t work for you, and you’re still buying, what you’re experiencing may not be impulsivity but obsession, then you should see a doctor. You could have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), in addition to or instead of ADD. You won’t be able to help yourself to stop buying every time your eyes light up.

But if you’re just dealing with that old ADD impulsivity, you can also try T. Harv Eker’s 7 bank account system from Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. You create 7 bank accounts that hold funding for taxes, necessities, education, gifts, financial freedom, long-term savings, and play. You’re obligated to spend all the money in your play account each month, which means you can still get things you want and not feel guilty. It’s a great way to start!

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“I want to get rid of these distractions!” I hear that from other ADD people often, but let me ask you, “Why?” I mean, what would you accomplish without the ADD distractions? How would that help you?

People often tell us, “OK. Focus on one thing.” Well, that’s never going to happen, is it? But we still have these feelings of anxiety and frustration and we feel as if we’re constantly being driven to the next thing. We sometimes feel bad about ourselves because of this, and it’s much worse when we’re trying to accomplish some very specific things. We might be wanting to grow our businesses and make more money, or we’re having trouble in relationships and we want to improve them, but whatever the situation, when it’s all said and done…

You can still do those things! And you don’t have to be focused. People that have no distractions, who are very focused in life, might not be getting where they want to go in life, either. They’ve pigeon-holed themselves in a world of boredom. ADD people can’t live like that. Nobody should live like that!

Here’s the deal… If you want to get rid of the distractions, things like housework or cooking or paying the bills, just so you can make more money, get somebody else to do the things that you don’t want to do. You can figure out a way to stop being distracted by unimportant things and move forward. You can actually use the ADD distractions and your ADD creativity to help you. Like, maybe your neighbor is an accountant and likes to mess with numbers. Barter. Tell him that you’ll paint a mural on his bedroom wall or that you’ll take his cleaning to the dry cleaner for 6 months. Or whatever. Make a deal and get the thing you want done by just can’t drive yourself to do–by someone else.

Distractions aren’t inherently bad. We move through life at the speed of sound, and we need to be aware of all the things going on around us. We need to be distracted. Cluttered houses and cooking aren’t that important to us. Delegate these responsibilities and concentrate on the distractions that will help you to get where you want to be. Decide what will move your business forward and hyperfocus on those things, not on unimportant things like cooking and cleaning.

If you can’t afford to pay for services, then, make trades. ADD distractions don’t have to be an issue, and you can find ways to use them to your highest advantage. You just have to use your ADD creativity. You’ll be amazed at how pleased people will be to do the things you hate so that they don’t have to do something that they don’t like to do. Sit down together and write lists of all the things you hate to do and see where there are matches. When you come up with a match, it will be a win-win situation, and everyone will come away happy. Try it. See if it doesn’t take some of the boredom out of your life so that you have lots and lots of time to be distracted and use it!

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When you woke up this morning and went to your home office, did you see the same stack of newspapers on the floor that’s been there since 1992? Or, what about your desk? Do you remember if it’s mahogany or metal? If you’re asking these questions, you may have ADD, and are suffering the dreaded clutter monster.

It’s not uncommon for people with ADD to have clutter in their lives. Though we really prefer things to be nice and neat, we don’t have the wherewithal to keep things that way. We hate to be bored, and so we procrastinate, sometimes for years. And we may be comfortable with our messes, but the people who have to live with us may not be so easy going. They let us know when it’s time to fix the mess. So, how does a person with ADD get started?

Here’s an idea for you that is totally ADD-friendly:

Get a big box and dump everything into it. Just gather it up and toss it into the box. Not too boring or time consuming, right? Just be sure to keep bills aside or anything that needs attention. You may want to get a basket and keep it somewhere that’s easy to get to when the mail comes. You can just toss bills in there as they come in, and then, pick a day each month when you’ll pay them.

Pick a day to go through the box you’ve just filled with mess, too, and be sure it’s a day when you won’t be distracted and need to leave the house. This will be an all-day, job, but a painless one. So, get a timer and two banker’s boxes with lids from the office supply store, and a trash can. Then, set the timer for five minutes and start going through the stuff in the big box. Put trash in the trash, important papers into one banker’s box, and not-so-important-but-I-don’t-want-to-throw-away papers into another one.

At the end of the five minutes, stop. Reset the timer for 55 minutes, and go and do whatever you want to do for that time. When the timer buzzes, then set it for 5 minutes again, and go back to the big box and start sorting. Unless the big box is the size of a small elephant, you should be done by the end of that day.

After finishing, write a date on the not-so-important banker’s box and store it. If you don’t look inside after six months, then, throw it away. Keep the other banker’s box with important papers, like insurance policies or product warranties, in a cool, dry place where you can reach it easily. It’s not important that the papers inside are organized. They just have to be available for you to find them, if needed.

Nothing in the world will stop your ADD from making clutter again. So, make this a monthly ritual. Pick up everything, and take a day to sort it. If you can do this, you’ll be happier, but imagine how happy your non-ADD family will be. You can do anything for 5 minutes at a time. Try it and see if this clutter-slaying process isn’t right for you.

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ADD people are bored very easily, as you well know if you have ADD. People call us lazy, but it’s not that. We’ll put tremendous effort into things that matter to us, and that we enjoy. But how exciting is washing dishes or cleaning up a mess of stuff? Not very and it just doesn’t happen. We learn to live with our messes.

Am I right? The dishes could be overflowing the sink, and the dust in the house might be forming little clumps that are starting to resemble small animals. They’re scaring your cat. Oh, and then, there’s the floor, littered with all matter of elements–rock, paper, hedge clippers, whatever. It’s just a mess! And you look at that stuff, and say to yourself, “I’ll get to that later,” and you never do. Your ADD never allows it.

Nobody has to live that way, of course. And you can’t allow it to go on indefinitely or the health department will come by and tack a “condemned” sign on your door. The stuff has to be done, no matter how much your ADD brain doesn’t want to do it. But there’s a way to do it painlessly. And it’s so simple that you’ll laugh when you read it, but it works. Really.

Here’s what you can do…

Maybe you’re going to pick up that stuff on the floor and actually put the hedge clippers in the garage. You really didn’t need them to open that wireless mouse package, but they make it so hard! Well, OK… Get out your iPod or your CD player or turn on the Sirius, whatever, and then, crank it up. Really hear it. Then, get your nose involved. Light some incense or a scented candle that you like. And now, your sense of taste. Try some sugarless gum or hard candy while you’re cleaning up. Your eyes and hands are already involved, so that will have all your senses involved and your ADD brain is less likely to balk.

You can get some added benefit by wearing something you like. What do you enjoy doing when you aren’t working? Whatever that is, if it’s playing football, put on the gear while you’re straightening up around the house. You’ll be amazed at how well this stuff works.

And you’re set. You’ll be dancing around, smelling good smells instead of last week’s laundry, wearing something that makes you feel good, and just generally getting things done. ADD brains do get bored pretty easily, so it’s important to keep it occupied. If you get really good at this, you might start to enjoy the chores you hate to do. You never know… ADD brains just need to be involved all the time. Give every sense something to do and your place will be clean and orderly. Or, if this doesn’t work… hire someone to do these things for you, if you can afford it. One way or another, the stuff has to be done. Make it as easy for yourself as possible.

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